7 Rules of Life Part II
How about that for a title! Continuing with the discussion of the 7 Rules of Life, this is the second rule: What Others Think of You is None of Your Business.
When I first read it, I have to admit I was …. Surprised. I read it a few times, allowing the concept to sink in. Then I laughed. What is your reaction?
I laughed because I realized there is a lot of wisdom in that Rule. And yet, it seems counter-intuitive, counter-productive, or counter-something.
I mean, it seems we are taught to seek people’s opinion of us, starting with our parents; we want their approval and love. Next our teachers. Followed by friends. Then bosses. Finally our partners. Right? We make changes based on their feedback.
So, I grabbed a hot cup of tea and sat back to think about this a bit more.
As I’ve gotten older and hopefully wiser, I realize that each person has unique experiences and, very interestingly, even a shared experience can result in (very) different perspectives.
Perspective on Humor
For example, I’m not too fond of those videos that show people riding a bike, then it flips, and the person lands on their head. Or a person jumping out of a window onto a trampoline only to be bounced onto a concrete sidewalk. My son thinks it’s the funniest thing, and I cringe and leave the room. Two different ways of thinking about it. What about you? Do you like those types of videos?
Watching those videos bring back bad memories of my past injuries. When I was younger, I would have stayed in the room and pretend to enjoy the show because I didn’t want people to think I was a killjoy or, worse: boring.
Why should I care about what people think of me? Why would their judgment really matter? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn’t mean I need to accept it as my own. Sometimes we just have to STOP and remember to respect our own thoughts and seek our own wisdom.
I think her point about ‘approval addiction’ hits home for many. Do you resonate with any of her seven points?
Recently, I had a client who asked me what he should do in a specific situation. I gently told him I didn’t have an answer for him.
He was worried that people would think he made the wrong decision. My response: You can listen to what others have to say and consider it, but in the end, it’s your life and your decision. It’s you that needs to live with your decision, not them.
If others don’t agree, that’s their problem, not yours.
Are there certain events in your life that you worry about what other people’s opinions may be? Do you find it helpful to consider that it may just be better not knowing what other people think about you?
Really, what goes on in their mind is their business. I would love to hear your thoughts about this.
Cheers!
Marilyn
